yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
