I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
