I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
