If that was your dad, he is hot
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
