question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
