Joe is yelling at the trees again.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize