If i come over, it means nothing
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
