at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
