And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have already put on my inside pants.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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