If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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