Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
