she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
