Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
