fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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