I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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