if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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