your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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