before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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