I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
