That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
