i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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