Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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