Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think i have two assholes
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
