This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
