My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She even gives head with a lisp.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
