New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
