Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
