I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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