this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wish you could order shots online.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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