Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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