just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
