Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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