I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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