you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Still dying that you shit outside
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize