what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
