i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
