we have officially lost it.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
