So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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