I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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