yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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