We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
