Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
