I heard we made out
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize