The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
