I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
