Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
