repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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