it wasn't lemon gatorade
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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