They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
