I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
