in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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