Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
