Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
