now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
