we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
