Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
