yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
