Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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