He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
