First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
