how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
