Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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