I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
A+ Viking dick
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
