Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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