this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
