I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
